assignment 3 paper

Brittany Taylor

WMST250

Section 0101

April 22, 2008

The Matrix of My Life

What makes me who I am? What parts of my life have influenced the person I am today?? There are many aspects of my life that play a role in me being me. This matrix takes every aspect in to account and the role they play in ones life. These aspects of the matrix are race, gender/sexuality, women, religion, disabilities, and class. Changing one part of the matrix can change everything in a person’s life. Analyzing these aspects of the matrix can show the power struggles we see in our everyday lives.

The main tangible places that I find power in my day to day routine starts with my parents. Coming from a strong Catholic family, things have always seemed to be a little different for me. Still at 19 I have to check in, tell my parents where I’m going, and make sure they know every little detail. This is the main source of a power struggle in my life, especially when I’m not allowed to do something or I don’t like a decision they make. As well as my two parents, I also have an 8 year old brother. One might think that there couldn’t ever be a struggle between an 8 year old and a 19 year old. Let me tell you, it’s tough. He is in the stage of asking 500 questions about everything. I am the oldest and his only other sibling and we fight a lot, mostly over stupid things but we do have arguments all the time. A lot of the time when he wines about something it just makes me very angry. I really should just let most of it roll off as if it were nothing. I really do feel bad that I am mean to him at times because I don’t want him to think that I don’t like him or something. Sometimes the struggles that I have seem to all happen at the same time. Recently I started a new job that requires 8 days of training. I have already been a server before so I didn’t feel that it was necessary to have that many days of training. I learned a lot during my training and it was clearly evident that I did need that many days of training. I have a problem when someone is judging me (like in my training). I know they had to watch me to make sure I was doing the correct things, but I still ended up freaking myself out which in turn made me mess up even more. Personally I don’t work well when I have a lot of authority over reining me. I like to do my own thing and make my own mistakes.

There are also many power struggles that are as tangible. These things really aren’t able to be changed in most cases. These power struggles make us who we are. What race you are plays a role in your life because with race comes culture. Depending on your background and race people may treat you differently, not because they dislike you, but because of stereotypes. Stereotypes play a major role in the way we as Americans view things, especially when it comes to race. This was made evident about 6 years ago right after 9/11. Everyone became “afraid” of people from the Middle East or Muslims. Even Muslims that have lived their entire lives in the United States became part of the stereotype. We as Americans figured that they were “part of the Al-qeuda” or we considered them a “terrorist.” This stereotype is still prominent in our country, though it may have died down; it is still a popular topic to joke about. Another similar stereotype is seen in regards to African Americans. 100 years ago our county was going through its dark days of slavery. Our country had just received independence from Britain 100 years prior. Right after fighting for independence from what can be considered a lesser form of slavery, we turn right back around and enslave the African Americans. After fighting for our rights, we go and take those of a lesser nation (or so what they thought back then). Today I don’t feel like blacks are treated unfairly because of their skin color. I do feel that it does depend on where you are in American and what the situation is. Obviously in the South, you are still going to find strong at heart Confederates that don’t care for anyone that is black. Personally I believe that we are all equal and we should all be judged on our character and not how we look, but unfortunately a lot of America does not feel that way. I also believe that many people don’t dislike blacks, but it has become a distinguished stereotype that people actually do believe that they dislike blacks. I do not feel that since I am Caucasian that I am any better than someone who is black. Considering the fact that Caucasian is the stereotypical “superior race,” I do feel that at times it has given me an advantage in life, but at the same time not making myself feel superior over anyone.

The next most important facet of the matrix is gender as well as your sexuality. You are born either a male or a female and that is your gender. Your sexuality is something that you create on your own. Your sexuality it was you make of it. You can be a woman with regards to your sexual organs, but maybe you feel that you should be a part of the opposite gender. Starting off with the gender aspect, men are seen as the dominant sex. This dates back to the beginning of time when God made Man. He made woman later on because it was evident that the animals would not be suitable for companionship. Even today, men use their “authority” to place themselves over women. I see this happen lot, especially in the work place. My last two jobs have been in the restaurant business. All of my managers have been men and a lot of the time the favor the girls over the guys. Not that anything wrong or illegal took place, but it was still evident that they liked the girl servers. This was made more evident when I started my new job about a week ago. I stared my training to become a server and only 3 days into my training was I in a sense promoted. The manager pulled me aside and asked me if I wanted to be a lounge server. The lounge is where Happy Hour and half price appetizers are. Basically I was asked to be a cocktail waitress solely based on the fact that I am a girl. I took the offer knowing that it is better money than working in the dining room that is very slow and does not get as much business. This leads into sexuality. People use their sexuality to get ahead all the time. I happened to be watching Home Improvement the other day and the episode was based on this very fact. The father Tim opened the door to a woman who was selling a “miracle cleaner.” Of course she was drop-dead gorgeous, so Tim, knowing nothing about the product bought the whole box. His wife Jill became angry because the woman used her sexuality to get Tim to buy the cleaner that turned out to be lemon water. The same thing later happened to Jill when she got pulled over by a state trooper. She unknowingly was very kind to the officer in hopes to get out of a ticket. Later on she realized that she flirted with the cop and got out of the ticket. She became angry with herself because she had just yelled at her husband for doing the same thing. Sometimes we don’t even realize that we are using are sexuality to get a head. It is something in our nature about being attracted to the opposite sex. Being a man is not what men want to be, they have to be a manly or macho man. Most men look down on other men that have emotional qualities. Every man is emotional, but in most cases it is not okay to show that side to anyone. Most men have a stigma against homosexual men. Men tend to think that anything remotely “queer” is weird or not allowed. Our sexuality plays an important role in our lives as well as our future. I know by being heterosexual I want to get married and have children. It might not be as easy for a homosexual to achieve those same goals because there are many states that have outlawed gay marriages. Being gay, it might also be harder to have children because it can’t be done between the two partners and adoption agencies would rather have the children grow up with a mother and a father instead of two moms or two dads. That is a sexist was of looking at it, but sadly in most cases it is true. Being homosexual does make it harder to have a family.

According to stereotypes, being a woman doesn’t seem so appealing. I can’t tell you how many times I have ever been made fun of by a guy for being a woman. Yes it may be harmless joking around, but it is still offensive to be made fun of just because of your gender. I am a 19 year old girl and I have blonde hair and blue eyes. I fit into the stereotype of a “Blonde.” Blonde in this sense is not just referring to my hair color. Everyone has those moments where they don’t get a joke, or they do something stupid, but for me it’s a little different. Whenever I do something wrong at work or with my friends their response is, “Oh it’s because you’re blonde.” As well as being made fun off for being “dumb” because I have blonde hair, I have many a time heard the expression, “Well you’re only a girl.” Men love to toss that joke around because they feel that we are inferior beings. Yes we are emotional, yes we like pink, and yeah we wear dresses. Everyone is different, like the cliché, “Opposites attract.” Would men rather us be like them, all manly and dirty? No. When it comes to things that involve thinking, men think that they dominate women and that women are helpless. There are a few jokes that I have heard with regards to women; “Wanna hear a joke? Women’s rights!” or “Why can’t women ski? Because there is no snow between the bedroom and the kitchen!” Obviously these jokes are not true, but the fact that men joke around about these types of things really bothers me. Sometimes I understand that it’s just out of humor, but it still hurts someone’s feelings when they are being made fun of. I find it a struggle to be a woman at times. We have to deal with a lot more then men do. We get emotional, we have menstrual cycles, we get moody, we get cramps, and we have babies. In addition to all those things we some how end up making dinner, cleaning the house, and taking the kids to practice (as stereotypical as that sounds, its true).

Most people are brought up with some sense of morals. Anywhere from being taught to say “Please and Thank you” or “Sir and Madame.” Depending on what part of the country you live in, your morals and ethics can be affected in different ways. What influences morals the most is religion. Every religion has different beliefs that the other one. Everyone thinks that their religion is the right one to follow. Personally I believe that as long as you believe in God and follow your church’s teachings then you will go to Heaven. Sadly this is not how everyone feels. Religious discrimination has been prominent since the beginning of our country. Why did we want to escape the powers of Britain? To have religious freedom. Then our country broke into many religions, each believing they are better than the other. They might not come out and say that they are better, but it is evident when churches go out and try to recruit new members. The main example of religious persecution is the Holocaust. A very evil man (and a Christian man) decided he wanted a superior race and religion. Hitler killed an estimated 6 million Jews in the early 1900s. 6 million innocent people were killed solely on the basis of their religion. I have been raised Catholic. I believe in God and there are many things that only my church believes in such as, confession and the bread and wine turning into the body and blood of Jesus Christ (not just as a metaphor). I also went to a catholic high school. There have been times where when I told someone I went to a catholic high school that it was looked down upon or smirked at. I see religion as a power in my everyday life. My religion has a moral code that I am to follow. This is known as the 10 Commandments. These are a set of rules one must follow in order to get to Heaven. My ultimate goal in life is to go to Heaven, so if I don’t obey my mother and father or if I steal something then it will be harder for me to reach my goal. I live by these rules and if I break a commandment I must go to confession in order to be forgiven for my sins. This is a struggle because I know that God knows everything I do which makes me feel guilty when I sin. I also go to church every Sunday. I really don’t consider this a struggle because I have grown up going to church every week so it is part or my routine. Praying to God is something I should be doing every day. I was not born a Catholic so I wasn’t taught to pray every day. This upsets me because I have not been able to make prayer a constant part of my daily routine. Since I struggle with this, I put a visor clip in my car that has a prayer on it. Now every time I get in my car and see it, it reminds me to pray.

Luckily I was fortunate to have been born without any disabilities. A lot of people are less fortunate and are born with or form some type of disability. This can be anything from ADD to a sleep disorder, to an eating disorder to having mental retardation. Even though I do not struggle with these illnesses on my day to day basis, I see people who have to deal with the pain and suffering all around me. There is an awesome show on television called Extreme Home Makeover. This is where the crew gives a deserving family a totally new furnished house and sometimes money to pay off their mortgage. This is one of my favorite shows because most reality shows now are about self gain or exploiting yourself to get ahead to win the money. It makes me realize how blessed and privileged I am. I have two good friends who suffer from depression. It kills me all the time when they tell me how they have thought about killing themselves in the past. Whenever they tell me these things, I try and make them see the good in things and that they will see the end at the light of the tunnel very soon. I recently told my one friend who has been depressed since I met him, that you never know when things are going to turn around for you. I told him that he doesn’t know when it is, so he shouldn’t go and do something irrational when for all he knows that day could be tomorrow. I feel that everyone should try to see the good in every situation. Most everything has something good come from it. When someone dies, it’s best to think that they are in a better place. Yes it’s okay to be upset, but it is also selfish to wish that they were still here, because they are in a much better place. I am just thankful that God blessed me with many talents and I pray for those who are less fortunate then myself.

Another part of the matrix is where class plays a role. There are three main categories that someone can fall into. They are poor, middle class and rich. America is one of the wealthiest countries in the world. It is sad though that the poorest in our country are considered somewhat wealthy compared to countries like Africa. Our country is very corrupt when it comes to money. The wealthiest in our country are movie stars and athletes. I am not saying that they don’t work hard for their money, but it is ridiculous how much money they make just for being themselves and being popular. Then you have the middle working class who has to work hard to earn their money. Some families make just enough to live comfortably or to just get by. I consider myself to be a part of the middle class. I am fortunate enough to go to a great university, have a nice job, and have a nice car in my own name. I feel that some things I can take advantage of. A lot of people in America do not own a car, especially college kids. I know a lot of people that do not have cars. Being in the middle class of America I am privileged enough to be able to go out and get a job on my own. The poorer part of our country does not have this same opportunity. I take advantage the fact that I have a roof over my head with pluming and running water. I feel that being in the middle class gives me advantages over someone who is poor. It also doesn’t mean that everyone will listen to what I have to say. Being in the middle class, you don’t get noticed by record companies or talent agencies. A lot of the time you have to have connections with someone in a higher place in order to be noticed. This makes anyone in the middle class seem inferior on someone that is wealthy. The middle working class of America is the hardest working class in our country. Not only do we work 9-5, but we come home and cook and clean. Some of us manage to go back to school or even take up a second job so that their spouses can stay home with the new baby. We are so privileged in America that at times we take for granted how lucky we really are. Then on the other hand we can not escape that power over us. We will always have a boss or someone telling us what to do, but that’s okay because it keeps our lives in check.

The one thing in live that we can not escape is power. There will always be some type of power over us at some point; anything from God, to our parents, to teachers or to our bosses. They will always be there. We will also have power struggles when it comes to race, religion, gender, and class. These things will always play a role in our lives. Without a sense of power in our lives, everything would be chaotic. There would be no order, no organization and people would go crazy. Even though we may struggle with power and the aspects of the matrix, they make us who we are. We wouldn’t be unique if it weren’t for all of the aspects of the matrix.